Despite all our efforts some habits or situations can feel as if they are fixed in stone. Part two of the Life Coaching checklist continues to look at ways to help you overcome being stuck, break habits and move forwards in your life using this checklist to help you to be your own coach.
In part 1 of my life coaching checklist, we looked at setting goals, overcoming obstacles, and resources needed to make progress. In this part of the Life Coaching Checklist we’ll look at the framework of NLP master Robert Dilt’s.
1. How has it has been going?
Once you have started to work with a particular area in your life that you have identified for positive change, it can help to step back and review. What has gone well and what have you struggled with? What might be helpful to factor into the process?
Robert Dilt’s superb model “Logical Levels”, which evolved out of the work of anthropologist Gregory Bateson and Bertrand Russell’s work in logic and mathematics , . Despite the very impressive lineage and the complexity Robert Dilts model is able to encompass, this framework can also be used very simply in a variety of ways.
Whether you are travelling happily towards your goal or experiencing a bumpy ride, you can use this checklist to give you extra insights into how you can fly higher and faster, and where to look if you feel as if you are encountering turbulence.
2. What are the Logical Levels?
For the purposes of this blog the six levels I am going to mention are: Purpose, Identity, Beliefs and Values, Behaviours, Capabilities, Environment.
These levels work well as a checklist for a “self-audit”. You can work from the top down or bottom up depending upon which appeals to you. You can look for where you feel you struggle, where you feel strong and where you need greater clarity. It is a brilliant focal point for all kinds of personal development at work or home.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” Albert Einstein
Where you identify a block, obstacle, or lack of clarity, look to the other levels to see where that might have its roots and how you might be able to work on and develop that issue.
3. What is my purpose in life?
I realise I might be starting with one of the toughest questions of all, but it is arguably one of the most important. You may already have your answer in which case skip this section! But just in case you are searching, or updating, I offer a few questions that might be of help as you explore finding your truth.
• When do I feel truly happy?
• What makes me feel like a real person?
• When does life make sense to me?
4. Who am I – what is my identity?
For many of us we define ourselves by our family and relationship roles, and our work. And yet we are all these and more. Consider if your portfolio of roles needs to be updated – make sure that “you” are in there somewhere.
5. What are my beliefs and values?
Many of these we inherit from our family. Formed as we grow up they may be updated by our experiences, and grow with us. Some stay fixed from our lineage, and can be either a replica or rebellion of the family script.
It can be good to check that old, and possibly limiting, beliefs or values are not holding unhelpful behaviours and life choices in place. Listen to how you justify your decisions and behaviours to yourself. What do you hear? Is it helpful? Do you need to rewrite the script?
6. Do my behaviours serve me?
I think there is a lot of truth in the old saying “if you want to see what a person believes, watch what they do”. Many of our behaviours flow from the spring of our sense of who we are and our beliefs and values – formed in childhood. Mostly this is acted out unconsciously.
When a difficulty or a crisis highlights the failings and limitations in the old roles and scripts, we have the opportunity to update. If your behaviours are not serving you well, look at the levels above and see where the glue is that is holding them in place. What is it that you believe to be true that creates the unhelpful behaviour? If you understand the nature of the glue you have a better chance of finding the solvent that will dissolve it and help you in becoming un-stuck.
7. Run a capabilities check
It might be that you are being held back by simply not having skills that you need. Consider if that is the case, if so what skills would be helpful? Who could help?
8. Are there aspects of my environment I need to change?
Look around and see what would help you achieve your goals. Are there aspects of your environment that you can change? How can you set things up differently to support yourself?
9. Where we get stuck?
The glue that holds problems in place can be found on any of these levels but in my experience, working with glue at the highest logical level possible will give you the greatest opportunity for change. Try to track blocks and issues upwards so that as you work with them at those higher levels, the benefits cascade down helping other related issues resolve in that positive flow.
10. Aim for Alignment
Create a cohesion and congruence in your life by aiming to align each of those levels to your higher identity and purpose. This can be as simple or as complex as you would like to make it. Either way there is a depth and elegance to this approach that adds to the power of adding this in to your life coaching checklist.
I hope you have found this to be of interest and if you have any questions or queries about NLP and Coaching, please do contact me. You can also subscribe to the Chantry Health Newsletter for updates about my practice and details about workshops. Thank you.